Return To The Forbidden Planet ...

... when your meds aren't working, there is a family crisis and you are out with some people who don't know you very well - no I was not drunk and yes my anxiety levels were so high I was making fuck up after fuck up.  Managing to give a terrible insult instead of a compliment to someone I have a lot of respect for was probably the highlight.  I have a wicked and very warped sense of humour at the best of times but I am not nasty about people I like.  My current meds status is giving me side effects including confusion, paranoia, slurred speech as well as other symptoms that you really don't want to know about.

I've never been overly impressed with musicals, I am more of an opera kinda gal and The New Theatre isn't the best venue in the world.  We had great seats in the stalls, however, which made a huge difference.  I was pretty much hooked the minute they started.  The idea of all the actors playing all these instruments so well was amazing.  The prize of the night for me was the guy playing "Cookie" who demonstrated some out there guitar techniques to rival Marty McFly! I sat there longing to be on stage doing this - the perfect job!

Don't ask me what was actually going on because I still have no clue.  It was star trek brushes past The Tempest and stops in We Will Rock You. At one point these big, green paper mache tentacles descended onto the stage from above.  Blue Peter at it's best! I think I would like to see a West End production of this show as I don't think this one did enough justice.  What space they had they utilised successfully.  Simple but very effective.  

The most disappointing thing for me was the lack of audience participation.  I was concerned that they were all dead or sleeping.  I was impressed enough to want to get up and have a good old jive about, but no, that never came until the end when my brain said "Go for it old chap you're from Manchester ditch the fake stiff upper lip for christ sake".

It has spurred me on to rebook my Wicked! tickets and I also learned that I hate Bipolar with every inch of my being and I am bloody sick of putting up with it.  God knows how everyone else around me feels ...  I am so lucky to be surrounded by such accepting people.  I'll keep removing the ones who can't cope as per! Awesome show and a good call.  

Since I am off the lithium for a while and in self-imposed exile I think I shall have that glass of prosecco thank you very muchly and take this opportunity to apologise in advance for all my shitty behaviour, tantrums, tears and irrationality. Remember this is not self inflicted!!

Getting Better ...

... despite the best efforts of some! Quick recap: I got Panto Lurge big style which manifested itself whilst I was in Manchester.  Nearly three weeks later, consumed by cabin fever, my voice is back but my ear still isn't right.  I will find out my fate in the next few weeks.  In the mean time, I am so consumed with solitude that all the sensible as flown out of the window.  I will be stepping out this week virus in tow.

When you aren't well, especially when you can't speak, it is easier to get drawn into someones delusions and ridiculous ideas.  I managed that this week.  Fished in, on the hook, didn't take much reeling either.  I can't help it if I actually care.  There is no point when it isn't accepted. Just to be most certain, I have allowed myself to be played by someone who would be a whole heap less lonely and hated should they pull the plug out of their arse! Friendship works both ways and quite frankly it is weird to walk away knowing every bloody thing about a person with no attempt to reciprocate.  Whilst I was getting paid a small fortune I had no qualms about listening to bullshit, these days I pay to have someone listen.  Vain, insular, draining but fun - I am loyal and will always be that way with friends no matter how much they don't deserve it, I am the gift that just keeps giving (or the gift making a twat out of herself)

What? This should be on mouth almighty?? Yes quite possibly.  Actually I want to talk about this week.  Lots to do and it is karaoke. I have a few choices of evening which I am going to take advantage of, can't do much singing, but I have good friends who I can't wait to see again, it has been ages, Alex and I are sorting out our theatre trip and all is good.  If it isn't London or New York, lets face it, it is substandard.  Hence I do things right.  No corners being cut.  

Will I do panto again after being so ill? Yes.  As other people will, despite all their kicking and screaming about unoriginality and other such guff. This happens every year, bleating, moaning and whinging but they'll be back - if the part is big enough ... bloody hilarious!!

Happy Monday peeps ... I am off to back pedal with the CMHT!