Wow ... first off 5000+ views after going official ... awesome! This kind of gives me the platform I need to go public in the not so distant future. That aside, this week has been full of surprises. Drama, tension, despair, comedy and hope and that is before the Bipolar gets to join in!
To recap, I had my appointment with the Doctor and managed to record the who thing (for myself not to use as a weapon of mass destruction). The upshot, as I went through my pre-prepared script, was that she is not going to help me with the one thing I asked of her - to remind me to get blood tests every 3 months. The computer won't let her - ermm how come they can remind people about annual reviews? I even suggested she could review me every 3 months as this would prompt me to get the test before I saw her - blocked again. Waste of an appointment - except for the "Primum non nocere" bit where she visibly became a foot taller and very flushed ... saying that provokes a very unusual response - its a bit like saying "Macbeth" Black Adder stylee. I credit this to good friend who is helping me out with all this stuff at the moment ... he knows who he is. Thank you!
What did she do? She decided to pass the buck. I had to ask myself again why she refused to refer me to the Mental Health team when I asked weeks a go. Could it be that NHS England have put the shits up the surgery? Back to the appointment, she suggested I was "high". No sweetie, I don't do drugs, do you mean my mood is elevated? I pointed out that she doesn't know me but, again, I was ignored. Referral it is ... well just as soon as she finds out where the hell she is supposed to send me and what the procedure is ... yes really!
I could now launch into a Craig David song ... Saw the GP on Monday, had a blood test on Tuesday, moped around the house on Wednesday, heard a pack of lies on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, enforced chill on Sunday ... haha!!!
The AMHT were very quick to leap into action but got me most incensed when they told me what my always to be respected for her knowledge, expertise and incredibly caring GP had said. I have been tampering with my meds possibly on purpose, my mood was very high and I was in danger of relapse. I don't see how I could possibly relapse with my lithium levels being high. As for tampering, well it didn't start that way but with no support/advice I had to do something ... stupid cow. I'd also go so far to say that this Doctor has put my back firmly up and I was very apprehensive about a meeting with her. Nerves and elevated mood have similar traits. Pacing, restlessness, talking ten to the dozen, irritability ... I should be honest here, I probably have a bit of both.
Friday came along and well, I had an epic one and a half hours with a Doctor and an assessment person with the most awesome name. I'm not at the stage where naming and shaming is an option so you'll just have to trust me on this one. They were excellent. They, unlike the bitch GP, could see what I had tried to do and appeared to give a shit. So I have been suffering a "mixed" episode which means its low and high at the same time which is quite tricky to get a handle on.
They have halted one of my meds completely and plan to get the lithium where it should be. The only major draw back is that they want to put the evil quetiapine up higher than ever. This really is going to impact on my ability to function for a number of weeks. I personally know I can't tolerate it at high levels but am prepared to experiment under their guidance, especially after receiving a stark warning with regards to the importance of lithium being stable - each episode I get in the future will be more intense and last much longer. I will relish in telling my GP she has singlehandedly caused a marked deterioration in my condition by ignoring my plea's.
A lot of people have been asking what triggered all this. Poor management of lithium. I am very sorry there is no gossip. Nobody died, nothing is upsetting me. This is a fundamental trait of Bipolar - there often isn't a reason and I am getting pretty fed up of being talked about like that. I didn't ask to completely break down seven years a go either. Nothing triggered that. Hard to believe but it is an absolute fact.
There may yet be a twist in events that will make the whole situation a whole heap more interesting. Everyone knows I like a bit of banter and mischief and there is an opportunity ... lets just see who I get as my "care coordinator". Hommmm!
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